


The apology

by Whateversoulsaremadeof



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: Angst, Comfort Sex, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-28 15:20:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10127615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whateversoulsaremadeof/pseuds/Whateversoulsaremadeof
Summary: Set ?? sometime in season 4 before *that* incident happened.??The things you put up with if you need/love someone and the world and the BBC are hard on you or things you can’t control keep you apart, or you’re just not willing/able/brave enough to give up the life you have for something you love??





	

Delia stared toward the ceiling of her room. She nursed Patsy under her arm, her head crooked in her armpit and her hand resting on Delia’s chest. She could feel Patsy’s long, slender fingers through the fabric of her pyjamas, tracing absent minded circles on her sternum. It was a becoming a habit of Patsy’s had when something was bothering her, both the aimless repetitive movements and sneaking into the nurse’s home after curfew to seek solace in her arms. They’d been lying in silence for nearly twenty-five minutes with the rhythm of Patsy’s hands running in time with the ticking of the clock. She reached to clasp Patsy’s hand in her own, stifling the movement and offering comfort in the form of a tight squeeze. 

“Deels?” Patsy glanced up and their eyes met.

Finally, thought Delia. 

“Hmm?” She answered by grazing the numbing hand that had been tucked behind Patsy’s head softly over the back of her neck. 

Patsy stared intently at her. “Do you remember when I told you we would find a way to be together?”

Delia stiffened a little as she remembered the conversation. Her eyelids fluttered and she turned her head back to the ceiling. Past frustrations crept to the front of her mind again and burned hot in her cheeks. It was something they hadn’t mentioned since, but an issue that had tiptoed around in Delia’s mind on more than one occasion. She found the limitations of their relationship unbearable at times. Moments like these felt tainted by the prejudice of the world around them. 

Patsy tilted her head up. “Delia?” 

She let out a soft sigh before replying. 

“Yes I remember.”

Patsy looked down at her hand and tightened her grip on Delia’s stomach. 

“I just don’t know what we can do about it.” She said, without raising her eyes from their interlocked fingers. 

“It’s just since I started at Nonnatus I feel more exposed… scrutinised even” Patsy continued, pausing at times to find the right words. “Like everyone knows where I am at all times and whom I spend my time with. Not to mention the lack of gentlemen callers I entertain”

Delia began to object. “But Pats I’m sure...” 

“No, sorry, please let me finish.”

Patsy bit her lip as she continued.  
“I just can’t do it Delia. I don’t want to live like this either, but I think our situation at the moment requires us to err on the side of caution. I wanted to find a way, but just this… it’s not…I just…” 

Patsy paused and recomposed herself. 

She took a deep breath in. “You say I’m good at facades, I’m afraid this one I am most certainly not. Every moment I spend without you I ache. Every second I spend with you my mind is tainted by propriety, piety and order. I cannot focus on loving you, perhaps in time I can learn, but I’m sorry Delia, today I cannot.”

The grip she had formed was hard on her hands, her knuckles white and skin taut. After a moment of silence Patsy’s eyes flickered up to meet Delia’s.

“I was thinking, if you can bear it, maybe we could go away for a week in the summer? I’m due some leave then, and it will give me enough time to settle at Nonnatus. Perhaps enough time to get things right, and to adjust?”

“Will it be enough?” Patsy looked hopeful. “For now I mean.”

Delia paused and studied Patsy’s face. Her blue eyes had a tiny glint of moisture forming in their corners. She hated to see Patsy hurt like this. She had thought hard about the compromises they had to live with; the stolen kisses or tight squeezes in alleyway, the longing glances across restaurant tables, or the sneaky grip of a thigh under a table. There was nothing in the world she would give up their relationship for, Patsy meant too much to her to ever give up. 

Even if they had to live like this, just for now.

Delia answered by leaning in and kissing Patsy. She felt the world fade away around them. There was only Patsy, her lips, the weight of her warm body pressing against hers, only her. Delia brushed her hand across Patsy’s smooth cheek pulling them closer together and deepening their kiss with a gentle push of her tongue. 

They broke apart, Patsy’s mouth opened and closed twice before she tried to speak again.

“Deels I…”

Delia silenced Patsy with another kiss. She didn’t need to hear anything else. She just needed Patsy. She reached her hand to the other woman’s face to clasp her cheek. She loved the curve of her cheekbone as it flowed into her jawline; she followed it with her fingers delicately. She didn’t stop there, her fingers journeyed down straying lazily over her chest, her stomach and rested on Patsy’s thigh gripping firmly.   
Patsy buried her face into the nape of the brunette’s neck. She was kissing Delia hungrily as she ran her hands up and down her back and over her backside. Little black dots disrupted Delia’s vision as she felt Patsy’s lips, wet tongue and hot breath. They were close, she could feel Patsy’s eyelids flutter against her skin, but still she was pulling her closer, impatient for more contact.

Delia leveraged herself off her side. She rested above Patsy with the weight on her hands and let her eyes roam. Patsy’s deep blue eyes, wide and watching, to her mouth and then to the tips of hardened nipples she could see through the fabric with each rise and fall of Patsy’s chest. 

She lowered herself slowly onto Patsy, sliding her leg between her lovers. Delia could feel the heat underneath Patsy’s pyjamas pressing against her thigh. Feeling the dull throbbing quicken in her groin, she pressed herself closer to the heat. Almost as if in slow motion they began to rock against each other. They soon found a rhythm, like a dance they had practiced hundreds of times before, both knew the moves, the flick of the hips, the right time to apply more pressure. 

Delia let her hands move to feel the skin of Patsy’s stomach, the hardened bones of her ribs and wander under the cotton pyjamas to take the small soft flesh of her breast in a perfect handful. Patsy reached to grip Delia’s hips rocking her forward to seal their lips and bodies together. The only noise they could her was the sound of their breathing, deep and heavy, and the soft click of the old nurse’s home bed as each time they moved harder against each other. Opening her eyes Delia caught a glimpse of her girlfriend beneath her. Her hair was frizzing against the pillow with the movement. Her cheeks were flushed; bright and rosy red.

Patsy’s lips parted as she let out a stifled moan and opened her eyes to stare back. Delia saw only love coming from those eyes as she felt the tingling spread from deep inside her in an implosion of pleasure. She knew Patsy was there with her, she saw her red lips form a perfect O shape. Patsy held her gaze, direct and deep into her eyes as the waves rippled through Delia’s body. She felt the hurt, and the ache of the last few weeks melt away from her muscles as they tensed and twitched in absolute bliss. 

Her body softened and she relaxed onto Patsy’s chest. She traced kisses onto Patsy’s collar bones, up her neck and nestled her head behind her ear. Breathing in Patsy’s hair and perfume Delia felt safe. She smoothed the red hair that was tickling her face and tucked it under the pillow placing two kisses on the newly exposed soft skin where it had been. Everything was right in the world when she was here.

She stretched her arm over Patsy and tucked it softly under her smooth stomach. Patsy turned her body and manoeuvred herself into Delia. Delia curled her knees up to press against Patsy’s back and thighs. Patsy felt warm and comforted, as if she was wearing a soft human rucksack. She felt Delia’s breath on her neck as the brunette lent in and whispered though a muffled kiss. 

“It’s enough. Pats you’re more than enough.”

**Author's Note:**

> Also, written just because dry humping is awesome.
> 
> Been writing this for ages and got stuck and kinda rushed into a finish so constructive criticism very welcome. 
> 
> Sorry. Thanks for reading, I'll be hiding in the corner in shame.
> 
> ((Sorry for always writing sex?))


End file.
